We’ve been without power two nights in a row. Despite the storm, the heat hasn’t abated much. It’s been miserable co-sleeping in this heat, even though the kids don’t climb in bed with us until the wee morning hours. This morning the power came back on, and with it, the AC. Squeaker quite perfectly expressed the group sentiment by crawling over to the AC vent, sitting on top of it, and happily clapping his hands.
Category Archives: Co-Sleeping
It’s three in the morning. You would think that with a king sized bed and a crib side car I would have plenty of room to sleep. Instead I have my toddler burrowing into me on one side, and the baby cuddled into my arm on the other. I set the baby back in the crib area, and scooch the toddler over to the middle of the bed so I can get comfortable. A few minutes later, both have started to wiggle back towards me. My husband is lightly snoring on his side of the bed. Blissfully unaware of the nightly custom.
Sometimes, I can’t wait to have my own space to sleep again, or roll over without waking the children. I can’t wait to sleep all the way through the night. With co-sleeping it seems like getting to these goals are two steps forward, one step back. I hear other moms talk about how early their kids slept through the night; how they never shared the bed with their kids, and I wonder if I’m doing the right thing.
Then, I smell my baby’s head as he snuggles in closer to me; my toddler contentedly says “mama and dada” as he climbs into bed with us and settles in. I remind myself that in a few years, when I ask them to come cuddle with me, they’ll make faces. They’ll probably say no. I remind myself that I’ll have years and years to sleep alone, and only this short time to cuddle with my boys.
So I wake up during the night, and I wake up early in the morning. We play games in bed until Mr. Bug asks for his breakfast. And while sometimes I wish they’d grow up and let me sleep, most of the time I wish they’d never grow up.
So at this point, I can no longer remember when I slept more than an hour or two without one of the kids waking me up. Mr. Bug used to go to sleep from 2-4 for naps. He now naps maybe once a week, and gets extremely cranky in the evenings because of this. I still put him in his bed with the gate up at the usual time, but I can’t force him to fall asleep. He plays or reads quietly, but his behavior in the evenings make it pretty clear that he still needs an afternoon nap. He just won’t take it.
Because of this, instead of going to bed at around 8pm, he has been falling asleep in his highchair while eating dinner around 6:30 or 7. He used to go to bed around 8pm, and then crawl into bed with us around 3am. Since Squeaker was born, he’s been climbing into bed with us earlier and earlier. Usually around midnight. Now, since he keeps falling asleep at 7, he gets up around 11pm to get in bed with us. Which normally wouldn’t bother me, except that he acts like he’s just gotten up from a nap, and wants to play. The lights are out, everything is quiet, but he keeps trying to get me to sing a song, or recite one of his stories. His chatter inevitably wakes Squeaker up, who wants to nurse. Then Mr. Bug wants to nurse because Squeaker is nursing. By this time all this is over, it’s 1am or so. This is when Mr. Bug finally stops tossing and turning and goes back to sleep. Squeaker will wake up at least once more to nurse. Then Mr. Bug is up at 6:30 ready for the day. I try to get him to go play in his room for a bit, but he wants to play with me. Squeaker, who is really not a morning person and would sleep till 9 if he could, wakes up fussy because Mr. Bug is up and making noise.
So I go to bed at around 10, get woken up 1hr later by my toddler who tosses and turns and plays, usually waking up the baby around midnight. I get them both back to sleep by around 1, Squeaker wakes up at 3 or so to nurse, and if I’m lucky sleeps until Mr. Bug gets up around 6:30. Squeaker won’t go to sleep before 10, so I can’t really move my bedtime up. Once Mr. Bug is up in the morning, everyone is.
Last night, when I put Mr. Bug to bed, I left his gate up. When he woke up at 11, I made him go back to sleep in his bed. He proceeded to get up and cry every 15minutes or so until about 1:30 when he finally went back to sleep. He still got up at 6am. I want to get him to stop climbing in our bed so early. On the other hand, I get why he’s jealous since Squeaker sleeps in our room.
Really the only thing getting me through at this point is knowing it’s just a phase. I try to remind myself of that whenever either of the kids is doing something on a regular basis that drives me bonkers. They grow and change so fast, but it doesn’t seem that way when you’re suffering from sleep deprivation. But he wasn’t like this 6, or even 3 months ago, and in 3-6 months, things will have changed again. Hopefully for the better, sleepwise.
One Tired Momma
No naps is not working. The first day or two without went fine, but now he’s randomly passing out at four or five in the afternoon. So I’m reinstating naps. I’ll just try to keep it short so he still sleeps well at night. Having him sleep in his room is going well. He’s still climbing into bed with us in the wee hours of the morning, but I can deal with that. At the risk of jinxing it, I’ll say it currently takes 20-40 minutes to get him to sleep. Here’s hoping that number goes down and not up.
Mr. Bug has been taking longer and longer to get to sleep for his naps and bedtime. Last night it took two hours before he fell asleep. I’m done with it. I can’t do this anymore. I used to cuddle him to sleep because it would help him fall asleep faster, but that is obviously not the case any longer, so what’s the point. I can’t sit in bed with this kid for two hours, I have a newborn that needs me too. So I’m done with it. As of tonight, we are transitioning him to the room we set up a few months ago. He’s been taking naps there, so hopefully it won’t freak him out too much. I’m putting him in bed, and sitting outside the door in a chair. This will probably make him take longer to go to sleep at first, but hopefully things will settle down within a week or two. I don’t know exactly where we’ll end up, I just know I need to change what we’re doing, because I can’t do it anymore.
And the little one said my space isn’t comfortable unless I’m taking up half your pillow and kicking you in the ribs.
Our toddler has mostly moved back into bed with us. Turns out he’s uber jealous of his little brother getting to sleep next to mommy all night. Actually, most nights I pick him up and put him in his crib once he’s fallen asleep. But instead of sleeping till 3 or 4 before crawling into bed with us, it’s now more like midnight. He also has this annoying habit of wanting his head to touch mine for some reason. He practically burrows into me, which as you can imagine is difficult to sleep through. Once he falls asleep again though I can usually move him over to his space, and at least get a few hours shut eye. So, Mr. Bug sleeps between me and the wall, and Squeaker sleeps between me and Captain Caveman. Except on the occasion that he decides he’d rather sleep next to daddy. Captain Caveman really hates this, because he’s a much lighter sleeper than I am, and has a much harder time getting back to sleep once woken up. Captain Caveman has also returned to his habit of sleeping in the basement on the nights before he has a test. Can’t say I fault him much for that. Hopefully things will settle down soon, and we’ll be able to get Mr. Bug back into his crib on a regular basis.
We co-sleep with my 18 month old, and plan to do so with the new baby. We didn’t intend to co-sleep originally. We bought a crib, and for the first week home put our son in the crib every time he slept. Because I was breastfeeding, once I figured out how to nurse lying down we would frequently fall asleep together on the bed. Turns out, he slept quite a bit longer and less fitfully that way. It was also easier to nurse him again when he did get up. I didn’t have to get out of bed, get him out of the crib, and then put him back into the crib once we were done. Also, once we were co-sleeping, I frequently woke up as soon as he began stirring next to me, instead of not waking up till he was crying.
I was worried at first, because you hear so many horror stories of parents rolling over on, or suffocating their children. But it turns out that many co-sleeping deaths don’t happen in a bed. They happen on the couch, lazy-boy, rocking chair, etc. Also, apparently it’s a co-sleeping death even if the parent isn’t sleeping with the child. So basically any death that occurs outside of a crib = co-sleeping death. It also turns out that co-sleeping deaths are much, less likely with moms who breastfeed. Something about breastfeeding puts your body more in tune with the baby’s position in relation to your own, as well as makes you sleep more lightly.
So after doing the research, we just made our bed as safe a sleeping environment as possible. No heavy comforters, keep baby on his back, make sure he can’t get trapped between the bed and the wall, etc. Once he got to be about 9-10 months old, he was rolling around a lot, and kicking in his sleep. It’s amazing how much space a baby can take up. So we removed the side rail from his crib making it a toddler bed, adjusted the mattress height to match ours, and pushed it up against our bed to give us all a little more room. Again, making sure this set up was as safe as possible. It worked wonderfully, and our son actually started sleeping even longer at night within a few weeks.
Now that we’re expecting a new baby, we’re changing the set up once again. While I’m not worried about my husband and I co-sleeping with an infant, I am worried about a toddler co-sleeping with an infant. He’s old enough now that we’re planning on moving him to his own room soon, but I want to do this gradually. I also don’t want to move him only to put a new baby in our bed just a few weeks later, talk about replacement and jealously issues. So we have a long term plan. The first thing we did was purchase one of those bed rails you can attach to the toddler bed. If we move him to his own room, he’ll need one on his bed, and for now it helps confine him to his toddler bed. He didn’t much care for it at first, but he’s gotten used to it now. Next, we plan on moving his bed across the room from ours. This way, he can still see us and get to us easily if he needs to, but gets used to his bed being separate. Next comes setting up a room for him. My younger brother is going to move down to the basement so we can use his current room for the baby’s room. He’s actually thrilled with this idea since it gives him more privacy and easy access to the game systems. While we don’t plan on moving my son to his room for a few months, we’re setting it up for him this month. The idea is to set it up as a play room, and get a second bed to put in that room. This way he can get used to the room, and we can start putting him down for naps in it so he gets used to waking up there. He mostly sleeps through the night now, so hopefully he’ll be doing this regularly enough when we switch rooms that the only hard part will be getting him to sleep. We’ll have to get a gate to put in the hallway so that he can still get from his room to ours at two in the morning, but not out to the rest of the house. If all goes well, I’d like to have him established in his new room by his second birthday in January.
Hopefully when it comes time to move the new little one out of our room, it’ll be a bit easier. With any luck, he’ll be thrilled to move in with his big brother. It’ll be nice for my husband and I to finally have our room to ourselves again.
Some Co-Sleeping info references: